Look at the Bright Side

 

Lirik Lagu - Keluhan Rindu

Lagu/Lirik :  Azha

Ambang Klasik Sdn. Bhd

Tu dia.. cover 'kaset' ye tuan-tuan & puan-puan...  

kita letaklahh 'watermark' sebab kengkadang sesetengah manusia tak reti nak 'credit' tuan punya barang.  Nak pinjam boleh.. tapi sila kredit blog ni ye.  Terima kasih.

Hah! Bukan untuk di jual.. tapi ni koleksi untuk 'throwback'..

Sleep Techniques

This sleep technique is similar to counting sheep, however it is far more effective as you will see in a minute:

Step 1:
Once you’re ready to sleep, ensure that your bed and bedroom is dark, comfortable and not too warm. It’s best to lie on your back for this. So get yourself in a comfortable position and close your eyes.

Step 2:
Now begin to breathe deeply and slowly. Listen to each slow inhale and exhale. On each exhale, feel your body sinking down into the bed. Feel your body heavy and tired. Continue this until you feel relaxed from head to toe.

Step 3:
Now it’s time to begin with some affirmations. Imagine a calm and soothing voice and tell yourself ‘You feel sleepy and tired’ and ‘You will sleep better and better every night’ Feel free to adapt and change the affirmations. Just ensure that you use positive language.

Step 4:
Now continuing with your deep, slow breathing, begin to count up on each exhale. Working from your head to your toes, relax a part of your body on each exhale. Imagine and feel your body heavy and sinking deeper into the bed. Continue this until you reach your toes.

Step 5:
You may find that you lose track when counting. This is a good sign that you’re drifting, if this happens, don’t worry exactly where you were, just continue roughly where you left off. If at the end you are still awake, don’t panic! You can’t expect miracle cures.

This is just a simple sleep technique that helps your conscious mind drift and your subconscious to take over using your imagination. Alternatively you can also try a natural sleep aid, if you feel that you need a little help.

Use a food pyramid that’s actually based on the latest and best science.

We can’t look at a pyramid these days without thinking of food and healthy eating. There was the U.S. government’s Food Guide Pyramid, followed by its replacement, My Pyramid, which was basically the same thing, just pitched on its side. The problem was that these efforts, while generally good intentioned, have been quite flawed at actually showing people what makes up a healthy diet. Why? Their recommendations have often been based on out-of-date science and influenced by people with business interests in their messages.

But, there’s a better alternative: the Healthy Eating Pyramid, built by the faculty in the Department of Nutrition at the Harvard School of Public Health. Based on the latest science, and unaffected by businesses and organizations with a stake in its messages, the Health Eating Pyramid is a simple, trustworthy guide to choosing a healthy diet. Its foundation is daily exercise and weight control, since these two related elements strongly influence your chances of staying healthy. The Healthy Eating Pyramid builds from there, showing that you should eat more foods from the bottom part of the pyramid (vegetables, whole grains) and less from the top (red meat, refined grains).

Steps to Develop Forgiving and Forgetting in a Relationship

Step 1: In order to increase your ability to forgive and forget, you need to recognize what this behavior involves. Answer the following questions in your journal:

a. What do you mean by ``forgiving and forgetting in a relationship?''

b. Have you ever been forgiven in a relationship? How did it feel?

c. Has anyone ever brought up something from the past to remind you

how you hurt a person? How did that make you feel?

d. What role do you feel forgiving and forgetting has in your relationships? How

could you improve?

e. How has the absence of forgiving and forgetting affected your current relationships?

f. What are the signs of the absence of forgiving and forgetting in your relationship with your: (1) family of origin, (2) current family, (3) significant others, (4) spouse, (5) children, (6) parents, (7) relatives, (8) friends, (9) co-workers?

g. What beliefs block your ability to forgive and forget? What would be necessary to change these beliefs?

h. What new behavior do you need to develop in order to increase your ability to forgive and forget?

i. What role does the existence of spirituality play in your ability to forgive and forget? The lack of it?

j. Who do you need to forgive? What do you need to forget?

Step 2: Now that you have a better picture of what is involved in forgiving and forgetting, you are ready to extinguish blaming behavior.

Letting Go of Blaming

It is easy to point the finger of blame at others for the pain you have suffered. This activity is intended to get you to point the finger of responsibility at yourself, to be better able to forgive and forget when you feel hurt by another's behavior. Answer the following questions in your journal:

(1) List an incident for which you are unable to forgive a person(s), and therefore are unable to forget.

(2) How much energy, creativity, problem solving capability, and focus on growth is sapped from you whenever you recall this hurt?

(3) What feelings come to your mind and body as you recall this hurt?

(4) How would you describe your role in this event? In what ways were you the victim, perpetrator, enabler, martyr, bystander, instigator, target, scapegoat, distracter, peacemaker, people pleaser, or rescuer?

(5) Why do you feel strongly over what happened and how you were treated?

(6) What did this event or happening do to your self-esteem?

(7) How dependent on others were you (or are you) to help you feel good about yourself? How positively self-affirming were or are you? Why do you need this person's affirmation to make you feel good about yourself? What beliefs about yourself were threatened by what happened to you? Reinforced?

(8) How willing are you to declare yourself independent of the need for others to reinforce you and make you feel good about yourself? What blocks you from declaring this independence? What fears do you have of letting go of the need for others to make you feel good about yourself? How does this relate to your inability to forgive or forget in the incident listed in Step 2(1)?

(9) What value is there in blaming the person(s) listed in Step 2(1) for the hurt and pain experienced? How responsible are you for the feelings of hurt and pain? How do these feelings relate to your dependence on others to make you feel good about yourself? How do you control your feelings of pain and hurt? What would change in your feelings about this past incident if you accepted the responsibility for your own feelings and perceptions? How do your irrational beliefs interfere in your ability to resist blaming others for pain and hurt you experience?

(10) Look back at the past incident and the person(s) involved; reframe your thinking and feelings about it:

• Who was responsible for my reaction to the incident?

• Who was responsible for my feelings about the incident?

• Who was responsible for my inability to forgive the person(s) involved?

• Who is responsible for my inability to forget this incident?

• How can I forgive the person(s) involved?

• How can I put this incident behind me?

• How can I forgive myself for being dependent on others for feelings of being worthwhile and good?

• How can I avoid being so hurt when something like this happens again?

• What do I gain by blaming others for my feelings?

• What can I do when I feel hurt and pain? Where does the finger of responsibility need to be pointed?

Step 3: Once you have learned how to let go of blaming in that one incident, repeat Step 2 addressing all the past or present incidents of hurt in which you need to forgive the people and forget the incidents. (See Step 1j)

Step 4: When you have exhausted your list of people you need to forgive and events you need to forget, you will be on the road to forgiving and forgetting in relationships. If you have problems in the future, return to Step 1 and begin again.

What is Forgiving and Forgetting in a Relationship?

1. Forgiving is allowing another person to be human for faults, mistakes, or misdeeds. Forgetting is putting these behind you; they are no longer brought up and no longer remain a barrier to your relationship.
2. Forgiving is letting another know that there is no grudge, hard feelings, or animosity for any wrongdoing. Forgetting is the lack of further discussion, with no ongoing negative references to the event.
3. Forgiving is letting the other person know that you accept as genuine the remorse and sorrow for actions or words that hurt or disappointed you. Forgetting is promising that this deed, whether of omission or commission, will not be brought up again.
4. Forgiving is accepting the sincerity of penance, sorrow, and regret expressed over a grievous personal offense; making it sufficient to clear the air. Forgetting is your commitment to let go of anger, hurt, and pain over this offense.
5. Forgiving is giving a sign that a person's explanation or acceptance of blame for a destructive, hurtful, or painful act is fully accepted. Forgetting is the development of a plan of action between the two of you to heal the scars resulting from the behavior.
6. Forgiving is the highest form of human behavior that can be shown to another person. It is the opening up of yourself to that person to be vulnerable to being hurt or offended in the future, yet setting aside this in order to reopen and heal the channels of communication. Forgetting is equally as high a human behavior; it is letting go of the need to seek revenge for past offenses.
7. Forgiving is the act of love between you and a person who has hurt you; the bandage that holds the wound together long enough to heal. Forgetting is also an act of love; in rehabilitation therapy, helping the wounded return to a full, functional, living reality.
8. Forgiving is the God like gift of spiritually connecting with others, touching their hearts to calm the fear of rejection, quiet the sense of failure, and lighten the burden of guilt. Forgetting is the God like gift of spiritually touching others' hearts with the reassurance of a happy and full life with no fear of recrimination, remonstrations, or reminding of past offenses.
9. Forgiving is the act of letting go of temporary ill will, disappointment, or the disgust that arises from the break in your relationship. Forgetting is bridging this gap in the relationship, eventually strengthening it against such a break in the future.
10. Forgiving is an act of compassion, humanity, and gentleness by which you let another know that she/he is indeed a child of the universe upon whom a variety of graces and blessings have been showered and that current or past offenses need not be a barrier preventing goodness and worth to shine through. Forgetting is the act of encouragement, support, and reinforcement by which you assist the other person to rebuild, reconnect and re-establish a loving, caring, healthy relationship with you, others, and the world whereby gifts, talents, and skills are freely appreciated and shared.

image : credit to twosidesserenity

text sources frm: forgive-forget

Am I a Passionate Lover...?

CAPRICORN

The passionate Lover.

Love to bust.

Nice.

Sassy.

Intelligent.

Sexy.

Predict future.

Irresistible, awesome kisser.

Loves being in long relationships.
Great talker.

Always gets what he or she wants.

BY FAR the BEST in BED.

Very sexy. Coolest.

Extremely fun.

Loves to joke.

Loves to be your first so you'll never forget.

Smart.

Love & Hate

THERE’S A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE & HATE,

THAT LINE DIRECTION IS SEALED BY FAITH...
THE LOVE YOU FEEL MAY NEVER BE SEEN,

CAUSE THE ONE YOUR LOVING THINKS YOUR MEAN...
IS LOVE HATE, OR IS HATE LOVE?

THIS IS OFTEN A QUESTIONED

BUT NEVER MENTION...
I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART,

BUT SOMETIMES THAT LOVE HAS TORN ME APART...
THE HATE THEY GAVE ME CAN’T BE MISTAKEN,

IT ALONE CAN ONLY CAUSE ME TO RECKON...
RECKON WHERE DID I GO WRONG,

THEN WONDERING HOW TO HELP US GET ALONG...
THERE’S A THIN LINE, I NOW KNOW IT’S TRUE,

BUT DOES ANYONE KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO...
WHEN YOU CARE SO MUCH THAT IT MAKES YOU HATE,

THEN START TO BELIEVE THAT YOU MADE A MISTAKE...
FOR LOVE SHOULD NEVER BE TURN TO HATE,

BECAUSE HATRED IS TRULY A LIVING MISTAKE....
Poem written by: Ticara

The Chemistry of Love

There are a lot of chemicals racing around your brain and body when you're in love. Researchers are gradually learning more and more about the roles they play both when we are falling in love and when we're in long-term relationships. Of course, estrogen and testosterone play a role in the sex drive area (see How Sex Works). Without them, we might never venture into the "real love" arena.

That initial giddiness that comes when we're first falling in love includes a racing heart, flushed skin and sweaty palms. Researchers say this is due to the dopamine, norepinephrine and phenylethylamine we're releasing. Dopamine is thought to be the "pleasure chemical," producing a feeling of bliss. Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement. According to Helen Fisher, anthropologist and well-known love researcher from Rutgers University, together these two chemicals produce elation, intense energy, sleeplessness, craving, loss of appetite and focused attention. She also says, "The human body releases the cocktail of love rapture only when certain conditions are met and ... men more readily produce it than women, because of their more visual nature."

Researchers are using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) to watch people's brains when they look at a photograph of their object of affection. According to Helen Fisher, a well-known love researcher and an anthropologist at Rutgers University, what they see in those scans during that "crazed, can't-think-of-anything-but stage of romance" -- the attraction stage -- is the biological drive to focus on one person. The scans showed increased blood flow in areas of the brain with high concentrations of receptors for dopamine -- associated with states of euphoria, craving and addiction. High levels of dopamine are also associated with norepinephrine, which heightens attention, short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior. In other words, couples in this stage of love focus intently on the relationship and often on little else.

Another possible explanation for the intense focus and idealizing view that occurs in the attraction stage comes from researchers at University College London. They discovered that people in love have lower levels of serotonin and also that neural circuits associated with the way we assess others are suppressed. These lower serotonin levels are the same as those found in people with obsessive-compulsive disorders, possibly explaining why those in love "obsess" about their partner.

Types/Stages of Love: Lust and Attraction

There are three distinct types or stages of "love":

1. Lust, or erotic passion


2. Attraction, or romantic passion


3. Attachment, or commitment
   

When all three of these happen with the same person, you have a very strong bond. Sometimes, however, the one we lust after isn't the one we're actually in love with.

Lust

• When we're teenagers, just after puberty, estrogen and testosterone become active in our bodies for the first time and create the desire to experience "love." These desires, a.k.a. lust, play a big role both during puberty and throughout our lives. According to an article by Lisa Diamond, entitled "Love and Sexual Desire" (Current Directions in Psychological Science, vol 13 no. 3), lust and romantic love are two different things caused by different underlying substrates. Lust evolved for the purpose of sexual mating, while romantic love evolved because of the need for infant/child bonding. So even though we often experience lust for our romantic partner, sometimes we don't -- and that's okay. Or, maybe we do, but we also lust after someone else. According to Dr. Diamond, that's normal.
  Sexologist John Money draws the line between love and lust in this way: "Love exists above the belt, lust below. Love is lyrical. Lust is lewd."
  Pheromones, looks and our own learned predispositions for what we look for in a mate play an important role in whom we lust after, as well. Without lust, we might never find that special someone. But, while lust keeps us "looking around," it is our desire for romance that leads us to attraction.

Attraction

• While the initial feelings may (or may not) come from lust, what happens next -- if the relationship is to progress -- is attraction. When attraction, or romantic passion, comes into play, we often lose our ability to think rationally -- at least when it comes to the object of our attraction. The old saying "love is blind" is really accurate in this stage. We are often oblivious to any flaws our partner might have. We idealize them and can't get them off our minds. This overwhelming preoccupation and drive is part of our biology. We'll go deeper into the chemicals involved in attraction in The Chemistry of Love. In this stage, couples spend many hours getting to know each other. If this attraction remains strong and is felt by both of them, then they usually enter the third stage: attachment. HAPPILY MARRIED EVER AFTER...

What Makes us Fall in Love?

We all have a template for the ideal partner buried somewhere in our subconscious. It is this love map that decides which person in that crowded room catches our eye. But how is this template formed?

Appearance

• Many researchers have speculated that we tend to go for members of the opposite sex who remind us of our parents. Some have even found that we tend to be attracted to those who remind us of ourselves. In fact, cognitive psychologist David Perrett, at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland, did an experiment in which he morphed a digitized photo of the subject's own face into a face of the opposite sex. Then, he had the subject select from a series of photos which one he or she found most attractive. According to Dr. Perrett, his subjects always preferred the morphed version of their own face (and they didn't recognize it as their own).

Personality

• Like appearance, we tend to form preferences for those who remind us of our parents (or others close to us through childhood) because of their personality, sense of humor, likes and dislikes, etc.
  

Pheromones

• The debated topic of human pheromones still carries some weight in the field of love research. The word "pheromone" comes from the Greek words pherein and hormone, meaning "excitement carrier".
  In the animal world, pheromones are individual scent "prints" found in urine or sweat that dictate sexual behavior and attract the opposite sex. They help animals identify each other and choose a mate with an immune system different enough from their own to ensure healthy offspring. They have a special organ in their noses called the vomeronasal organ (VNO) that detects this odorless chemical.
  The existence of human pheromones was discovered in 1986 by scientists at the Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia and its counterpart in France. They found these chemicals in human sweat. A human VNO has also been found in some, but not all, people. Even if the VNO isn't present in all of us -- and may not be working in those who do have it -- there is still evidence that smell is an important aspect of love (note the booming perfume industry). An experiment was conducted where a group of females smelled the unwashed tee shirts of a group of sweaty males, and each had to select the one to whom she was most "attracted." Just like in the animal world, the majority of the females chose a shirt from the male whose immune system was the most different from their own.

Will Smith: I'll never divorce

The actor gives advice to newly engaged presenter Ellen DeGeneres

Will Smith is determined to make his marriage work, despite all the pitfalls in Tinseltown.

Jada Pinkett Smith, 36, became his 2nd wife 10 years ago and the couple have no intention of ever splitting up.

‘We're going to be together one way or the other so we might as well try to be happy,’ Will, 39, told Ellen DeGeneres on her chat show.

‘Divorce just can't be an option. It's really that simple. And I think that's the problem with LA – there are so many options. So a huge part of the success is that we just removed the other options.'

Ellen, 50, announced her engagement to actress Portia de Rossi, 35, on her show earlier this month. They began dating in December 2004.

source from : nowmagazine.co.uk/Rossanne Spencer

Pontianak in video causes a stir

The Star - Tuesday April 15, 2008

SIGHTINGS of a pontianak (woman vampire) captured on video have caused a stir among locals in Malacca, reported Harian Metro.
For the past fortnight, droves of people have gathered at a bridge near Jalan Pulau Gadong, Malacca, where the 50-second video-clip was purportedly filmed.

Many stayed up to the wee hours of the morning hoping to catch a glimpse of the spectre.
The video clip, circulated via mobile phone, shows a woman with long black hair and clad in a white cloth floating in midair while whimpering.
A receiver of the video clip told the Malay daily that he had heard many stories about the pontianak.
“Some say she would appear like a damsel in distress but when approached, she would turn into a pontianak.
“I’ve also heard that the police were called in by several men who stumbled upon the apparition, who was asking if they had seen her missing child.
“As soon as the police arrived, she would turn into her true self and disappear,” he said.