24.7.08

Signs of the Absence of Forgiving and Forgetting

Lack of forgiving and forgetting in a relationship can result in:

  • Irreconcilable differences between people

  • Indifference toward one another

  • An emotional vacuum in which little or no emotions are shown or shared

  • Chronic attacks or angry outbursts

  • Addressing or interacting with one another disrespectfully

  • One-upmanship: competition as to who can out do whom in terms of eliciting sympathy, compassion, or understanding from outsiders

  • Seeking revenge from one another

  • Pitting the parties in the relationship against one another through coalitions and taking sides

  • Chronic recalling and reminding of past hurts and offenses

  • Suspicions about the others' motives, behavior, attitudes, beliefs

  • Chronic depression

  • Chronic hostility

  • Name calling, belittling and demeaning one another

  • Responding to present behavior as if they were past behavior

  • Unwillingness to change and/or unwillingness to seek the help necessary to change

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